So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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