I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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