Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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