she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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