Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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