If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
