I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
