BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
