i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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