Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
