he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
