And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize