We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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