I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
