Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize