Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
