when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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