I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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