I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
