that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
