I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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