Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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