My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
