you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
