He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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