i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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