nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
