The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
