I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
