Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
this beer tastes like vomit already
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
