I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize