party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
