Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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