I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
