Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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