Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
