Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I AM VODKA MAN
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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