Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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