part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
