I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
