i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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