VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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