I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
