I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
