No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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