Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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