When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
