You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
