hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
