I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
