I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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