I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
