I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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