He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
