That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
