At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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