I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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