I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
