Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
