This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
