just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
