i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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