Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
