ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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