he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
