I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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