I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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