Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
