The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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