I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
