I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
