he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
