no, he came in my armpit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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